Recently, a friend of mine posted on facebook her frustration with her daughter's terrible twos. I commented that I was right there with her and suggested that we start a support group. Immediately, other "friends" chimed in with their comforting words, little pearls of wisdom such as, "three's are worse" and "I have a five year old who's naughty". Almost every parent with any age of child two to twenty-something plus and every age in between expressed frustration with their children.
I would like to be hopeful and believe that those parents of older children are all just exaggerating or that this is a case of "the squeaky wheel" and the other "wheels" - parents who have no problems - are just staying quiet. Still, I can't help but come to this conclusion - "Being a parent doesn't get easier." However, I still don't think that is any reason to despair because while frustration will never completely go away, some problems will. Here is a list of the things that I know will pass once he is over these "terrible twos."
- He will stop throwing matchbox cars at people.
- He will stop biting.
- He will stop laughing when I say "Ouch!"
- He will learn that putting on his coat is a not a reason to scream because it means he gets to go outside.
- He will learn to listen to reason.
- He will stop digging up the houseplants to get dirt for his tractor trailer.
- He will stop spitting water on the floor/table/wall/himself. (Note: he has stopped spitting water on the cat)
Here are some things that he does that I don't think will change.
- He will continue to be a back seat driver ("That way! On there! Hawk and bear!" - it means turn here Mama, I want to see the hawk and bear at the Nature Center)
- He will continue to seem to like his "mamadaddy" (his word for daddy - I am "daddymama") more than me - I think it's just natural for a boy and for kids to cling more to the parent who works longer hours outside the home.
- He will continue to want to be outside, no matter what the weather is like.
- He will continue to be a strong-willed person.
- He "calls" the robins like he "calls" the cats by making a kissing noise, patting his leg, and saying "Here!" He believes they will actually come to him.
- He chases the robins as if he really can catch them.
- He believes he can fly by spreading his arms and running.
- He falls asleep in my arms as I rock him.
- When he wants to be held, he turns around and backs into us, and sits down if we are on the floor.
- He makes sounds of wonder and amazement (Ooooooo) when he sees tractors, big diggers, or any other wonderful things.
- He thinks he can hide by just covering his eyes.
- He runs almost everywhere he goes.
Recently, one of my good friends just had a baby girl, and I am catching myself thinking that I wish in some ways to go back to those days of just holding him, but then I remember all the anxieties that come with being a parent of a newborn. So I think I can understand where those parents of older children are coming from when they are saying they wish they could go back to "terrible twos" because it gets worse. They are looking at it in hindsight. If only I could go back with what I know now and comfort that "old" me, the problems that seemed so big then would be laughable, almost.
People live in the present, but sometimes, not enough. So now I am going to make a list of things that I know will change that I would like to remember.
I am sure there is more, but right now, these are all I can recall. Some day I will return and add to this list because I want to heed the advice of many wise parents that I have heard repeatedly, and that is "Enjoy it! It goes fast!"
