Almost One!

Carson's birthday is coming up in less than two weeks, and we still don't have a clue what we are doing. Eeeek! It falls just before Easter weekend so wherever we go for Easter, we will probably celebrate it there. No matter what we do, we're going to have cake and we're going to let him have some too. I am a bit worried about it. Carson has a milk allergy or maybe it's an intolerance. He's been on a non-milk formula since he was born. So I guess the cake will have to have as little dairy as possible. There I go again, being a paranoid, overprotective mom.

Well, despite the cake debate, one thing is easy to figure out and that's what he would like for presents - cars, cars, and more cars, oh, and maybe some books with kitties or puppies and tractors and trucks. He is so expressive, even though he can only say a few words, he really lets us know what he likes. He has this funny little laugh that seems to be a cross between a goat bleat and a machine gun. When he sees something he likes (the other day it was a fork lift), he bleats out his little laugh, points, and then goes "Ohhhhhh!" and laughs again. It's hilarious and hard not to laugh along.

I find it ironic that he loves loud machinery like cars, trucks, and tractors when he is terrified of the vacuum cleaner, the blender, and the hair dryer. My husband thinks his love of cars means he's going to be a race car driver. Well, one thing I know for sure is he's only almost one. He has lots of time to figure this out.

Insecurities of an adoptive parent

Sometimes I wonder, like all parents, if I am doing this right. Carson is our first and only child, so I have no comparison to reassure me, and he didn't come with any instructions. Sometimes I wonder if I am more insecure about my parenting because I am an adoptive parent. I wonder if I am too protective. I see other moms who won't hesitate to take their babies with them anywhere. For us, going to the grocery store is the extent of our adventures.

I also wonder if there are some unwritten rules that I am not following. Does every parent have professional photos done every few months? Does every parent have a big one year birthday bash? I am sure not every parent does, but am I missing out on something by not doing these things? Is he?

I wonder about some day talking to him about how he came to be with us. I do believe that he was meant to be our baby, and there is no way I could love him more. But what will he think of everything once he's old enough to understand? I ache sometimes for the things I haven't been able to do for him like carry him as a part of me for 9 months or breastfeed him to give him a stronger immune system. Will that really matter when all is said and done?

And still, I know, that he is a part of me now no matter how he came to be. It would be easier for me to rip out my own heart than to ever part with him. I guess this is part of being a parent, having these feelings. I still wonder - do adoptive parents feel more or the same amount of insecuries. I'd like to take a poll of parents to find out.

Picture of the week

This is my most favorite current picture. Carson was enjoying the St. Patrick's Day card that Grandma Jane sent. He chewed a hole right through it. When will he stop putting everything in his mouth? At WalMart when they offer us a sticker, I always have to refuse, because I know he would just eat it. Boy did he get mad right after this picture when I took the card away!

Funny Moment

I know I said I was done for today, but I just had to add one thing. I walked into the bathroom and found Carson on the floor laughing at the toilet. I wonder if this is an omen of adventures to come :-D

Oh, and here is a video from yesterday of him dancing and watching his pictures on our digital picture frame.

Milestones

It's been a while, I know, since I have added to this blog. One site I have been adding to for anyone who wants to keep on top of things is youtube. I have found it much easier to put our videos of Carson on there . . . and what entertainment there is!

Every day is a new adventure with this baby, our baby boy. Lately, we have been through the stomach flu, learning to crawl, and most recently - trying to stand. He now tries to pull himself up on anything. He can climb the steps once his daddy helps him up the first one (see video below). He also is playing the "SO BIG" game as you can see from the picture.

His favorite funny words are - ouch and hot. I wasn't so sure this was a great idea until yesterday when he bumped his head and was crying. I looked at him and said, "Ouch?" He sort of giggled and cried at the same time, so I kept saying it until he was completely happy. Sometimes solutions are easy like that.

One solution that hasn't been so easy is how to get him to sleep all night or at least only wake up once. Since he was sick in February, it seems he is trying to make up for lost time. He eats/drinks almost as much in the night as he does in the day. He screams and throws his pacifier if he still wants his bottle. Wow! Can that boy wail!

I have read many posts from other parents who say that you have to deny the bottle and let the baby cry it out (CIO) until he falls asleep again, but I don't know if they have ever heard anything like the noise Carson makes when he is hungry at night. I couldn't ignore it if I wanted to. I will never be able to use the CIO strategy.

Well, that's all for today. I am, from this day on going to keep this site updated if not daily at least weekly.