New Photos

What Happened to November?

Wow, I know it's been a while, but I didn't think I missed a whole month! I think I know what happened...the afternoon nap is becoming a not-so-sure thing. Yesterday, as I was carrying him to his crib, he began to wail and sob, and in his sobbing voice, he said, "Idonwanna!" Now as I write this, he is sleeping. He requested it - "night night" - he said. However, he is stirring as if to wake up, so I have to update this quick with a list of new and/or funny things he is up to...

• He cries when we pass the tractor store but don't go into it.
• He likes country music songs about tractors - there are two on YouTube that we have viewed no less than 100 times since we found them in November.
• He says John Deere, green tractor, and race car (but he doesn't know yet that race car is palindrome)
• He wants to play in the snow, but we are waiting for his boots to come.
• He says "poop" before, during, and after he does it. So even though this is a sign that he may be ready for potty training, we need to get a potty that doesn't have a removable cushy seat (he thinks it's a big teething ring - whoever thought of such a stupid design?).
• He says rar when I ask him if he is a pirate or when I ask him what a tractor, truck, or Daddy says.
• He has said three sentences: Daddy's at work. George is a monkey. and Daddy says rar! I guess his yesterday's protest I donwanna! counts as number 4.
• He has started waking up again at night, and the only thing that will soothe him is if we sing songs about tractors.
• He knows who Santa is and recognizes him everywhere. He then says Sanna, ho ho! (I feel a bit guilty that he doesn't know Jesus as well - oh well, Catholic guilt trip.)
• He likes to make funny faces at us and laughs when we make them back at him.
• He has stopped eating vegetables.
• He throws some wicked temper tantrums, but has learned to lay himself down on the floor gently before thrashing.
• His curls seem to be growing out )-:
• He gives great hugs, but usually mostly to the cats or when I tell him I am going to "get" him. He loves to play chase, but instead of running away, he runs right at me like a linebacker. That's when I then get a hug.
• He says, "IknowIknow" as he cries when he is hurt (shots, wicked temper tantrums, after running into things, or hugging the cat without the cat's consent) because that is what I have said to him to try to soothe him.
• We are all looking forward to Christmas. Daddy, I mean Carson, already has one cool toy which I had to prevent Daddy from opening early.

That's all for now.

He's a Maniac

Flashdance? - Watch This!

The Nature of Carson

The A-B's

"Our son is a deviant," said my husband earlier today as he told me of their adventures outside. "He waited until I wasn't looking to eat a shovel full of sand!" he explained, exasperatedly.

"He is NOT!" my motherly defense kicked in, even though as I held him he had started beating on my head with a stick he had picked up from the ground earlier. I flinched and defended him, and smiled like having my head serve as a drum was perfectly acceptable. And in the back of my mind a thought flickered and froze me in my tracks, "Am I going to be one of those moms!"

Everyone knows this mom. Everything her baby does is right or just misunderstood. He is always perfect to her and always dreaded by every teacher, coach, lifeguard, fellow classmate, and anyone who is forced to work with him. "He just has his own style," this mother explains to excuse rude and obnoxious behavior.

Yes, I know, he's only 1 and 1/2 years old, so I am jumping the gun here. He's too young to really, truly understand right from wrong. Even though he says "No, No, No" as he is breaking past barriers we put up for his safety around the fireplace and as he is sneakily grabbing a sharp knife from the dishwasher while I am emptying it, it doesn't mean he knows it's wrong or dangerous and is doing it anyway. He is just repeating what we have said. I would like to know at what age does this sense or "common sense" kick in? And how long will I have to tell him "No" for those situations we have deemed more harmful than the use of that word (No) before he has learned.

At the same time, I have many examples of how this kid is his own person and does his own thing, no matter what we say. The latest examples are that he made up his own word for pumpkins (mock-o's), and instead of saying his A-B-C's, he points to the letters and calls them the "A-B's". Also, it's not "Twinkle, Twinkle" little star, it's "Tickle, Tickle." He is so cute! And now I'm back to adoring mother mode. I can't help it. Maybe I can blame it on brain damage suffered from blows to the head. He is perfect to me. I just hope he continues to be nice to the outside world too.

our own little photo shoot

Who needs a photo booth?

Carson's First Math Lesson

I'm so cute, why do I need to know anything???

A neighbor recently commented to me, "Well, you're a teacher, so you should be able to teach your son really easily." I wasn't sure how to respond, and I thought of my first attempted math lesson.

I try to teach Carson how to count. I say one, and he says two, and that's as far as we get.

I try a different approach and ask Carson how old he is. I tell him, "You're one year old, Carson, O-N-E."

He looks me right in the eyes and almost defiantly says, "TWO!" And so it begins. We'll try again the next day.

Nature vs. Nurture

After neglecting this blog for a month, it feels like I have missed out on a whole year's worth of changes happening with our baby boy. So much changes in so little time, and I find myself wondering how much of Carson's advances are due to nature or due to nurture. This question concerns me even more because Carson is adopted, so I will attempt to make a list of things we can definitely take credit for as parents and things we cannot.

We cannot take credit for...

• his beautiful curls, except for the fact of leaving them uncut.


• the way he giggles, except for the fact that unknowingly we have taught him to giggle when he burps and proudly say "Burp", instead of ,"Excuse Me!"


• how much he likes to dance - I think he learned that at daycare.


• how adept he is at saying new words, except for the fact that he has learned to say, "Beer" and "sh_ _". It's all his daddy's fault, however, luckily, he only said them each once.


• how adorable his smile is on his angelic face, except I like to think that we have given him plenty of reasons to smile.


• how he learned to turn on the radio or a DVD, except for the fact that his daddy is the one to get him interested in "movies".


• how smart he is, except for the fact that we read to him and try to teach him new stuff every day - he learns what he wants to anyway (see "Carson's First Math Lesson").


• how charming he is, except for the fact that we find him charming and so hopefully are reinforcing good behavior (see bullet #2).

Look, he's my mirror image!

And the list could go on...but I guess the gyst of it all is this: Carson is his own person, and as parents we hope always that we are helping him develop and grow into the best person he can be. We have no preconceived notions of who he should be or who he is, except that he will be happy.

My Son the Rocket Scientist

This is Carson, wearing his grandpa's reading glasses.

It's a wonder every day to watch Carson and see how much that sponge-like brain soaks up. But I have discovered that he does much more than absorb information. He make connections that, I think, are just astounding for a 16 month old baby. Here are some examples.

• He picked up my swimming suit and walked around with it saying "Mommy's".
• When his daddy pointed to a picture of a lake, Carson looked at him and said "fish."
• One day I described to him what a rocket was because we saw a picture of a toy rocket in one of his books. The next day when he saw a video of fireworks, he said "rocket.
• One day I told him that the characters on a TV show were going to school, and he said "bus."
• If he finds a remote control, he says "TV."
• He often says, "Daddy at work" during the day.
• He can identify these things just by hearing them: airplane, tractor, and birds.
• When we ask him if he wants to dance, he says "dance" and goes over to the radio and turns it on.

I think there are more examples, but I can't remember them all right now. The funny thing is that I don't remember teaching him these things. I may have mentioned some of these things to him once or twice. I may be biased, but I think it's a sign that he is very intelligent, and if that's true, we are really going to have to be on our toes with this kid.

No matter how smart he is, he still sometimes gets things wrong, and sometimes it's really funny. For example, he thought Daddy's nipples were bugs. He also believes all the trees in our yard are apple trees.

There are also two new things he does that are just plain cute. He squats down and says "Dump!" (meaning "Jump!") and then he stands up fast. He created a new dance move where he lays one hand over the other and then makes a wave-like motion with his arms. He does it when we ask to see his "new move."

No matter what, this kid is just plain entertaining and wonderous!

The Dancing Fiend

Carson loves to dance. If we ask him if he wants to dance, he says "DANCE!" and starts bopping. He bends his knees and bops up and down. Sometimes he turns on the radio first. Other times he just dances to the song in his heart or his own song usually - "doot, doot, doot!"



He has two other signature moves besides the bopping. He will do the step from side to side, and what I like to call the "I'm washing the table." In this intricate move, he sticks out one hand at waist level a little out from his body. He puts his other hand behind his back, and then he swings his waist level hand back and forth, like he's washing a table. He sometimes gets his head going too. It looks like he is shaking his head, "No."



I so wish I could get it on video, but he is the opposite of camera shy, he's camera hungry, so most of the time we have to hide the camera so that he doesn't eat it. We did manage to get one recent picture.



In this picture, he is enjoying his blow-up ball pit. It's where he, and sometimes the cat, like to hang out. The best thing about this toy is that we got it for free from some friends who wanted to get rid of it. Carson's dancing show is free too. It just proves that the best things in life really are free. Now I wonder why Carson has now started saying, "money"?

Word of the Week

He has so many new words since the last time I wrote that I am just going to share his most recent one: strawberry! He asks for them, and he says that word better than most!

I Love You E-I-E-I-OOOO

Carson is a funny kid, and very good at language, very smart. He mimics what he hears us say and what he sees us do. The other day I told him that I loved him and he said "yi-yi-yoh" which is how he sings the refrain of the "Old MacDonald" song. To him that sounded just like what I said.


He also has picked up saying "shhhh" and putting his finger to his lips. That comes from when we play - "We are sneaking up on Daddy now." Although, he squeals with delight right after, so I don't think he quite grasps the quiet part of it. The first time he shhhh-ed me, he smiled right after and crawled away. I was cracking up!


There are many gestures that he has picked up from me (the poor kid). He sings "doot, doot, doot" when he dances. He blows raspberries when he sees pictures of elephants (that's the closest he can come to imitating the sound that I tell him they make), and he uses the same sound to laugh in disbelief like I do when his Daddy is telling some tall tale.


So I guess we have one answer to the "nature vs. nurture" question, and that is your children's gestures can be learned, so I know now to be extra careful in what I say and do because someone is always watching!

Weaning Meanie or Weanie?

Ok, I have heard everything from you should wean them at 9 months to some babies aren't weaned until they are 4 years old. I know there are some reasons why to wean him as soon as possible such as...the longer you wait, the harder it will be...and the concern over teeth development, but I am still confused.

We give Carson solid food, but the fact is that he just doesn't eat as much as the "books" say he should be eating. With his milk allergy, it's hard to give him the foods many moms rely on (like cheese) for getting their kids to eat more solid food. The formula is his mainstay.

That doesn't mean I am giving up. I guess I'm just whining about weaning. There are many foods he does eat without worry such as fruit, chicken, and beans. Also, I am going to give him his formula in a sippy cup at least once a day from now on. Even though he knows it's not a "bottle" and sometimes throws it because it isn't (I guess I am in for a battle over this bottle issue.) Maybe I should have started this before he could say "bottle."

I just wish I knew if what he is eating is enough. I was looking for a free online food diary to track his food intake like I used to use at fitday.com, however, it is impossible to put in the nutrition information for five Cheerios and other such small amounts of food that he eats. I hope someone invents a nutrition tracking website for toddlers some day. I'm probably not the only crazy mom out there who would use it.

Three new unrelated developments:

• Carson can say "horse" and he knows what it is.
• Carson knows how to say George (as in Curious George) although, this morning he tried to tell me that George was "Bob"
• I invented a "double door wedge" to secure our swinging door in any position. I used two rubber doorstops duct-taped to a painting stirring stick. It's not pretty, but it works.
  
  

This picture shows Carson's horse and the double door wedge.

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Videos!

Two of the latest videos (for some reason they wouldn't upload to the blog).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5sB6jDtBuY
This one is Carson eating with a spoon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v34UGNXbgE
This one is Carson calling "dada".
Enjoy!

Bunny Doodle

Yesterday as we were walking, we met our neighbor and her two kids. Her older boy is 2 years old and the baby is 8 months old. The two year old invited Carson to his Grandma's house for cookies to which Carson laughed as if he understood the invitation. It made me smile, but it also made me kind of sad that Carson would probably not be able to eat those cookies, and so today I was determined to make some cookies that Carson and his friend could share some day, and this is the recipe that I found. I love that Go Dairy Free website!!!! I made those cookies in the picture.

Bunny Doodle Cookies
Go Dairy Free - Tuesday, 16 June 2009

© Go Dairy Free

I only did two things different from the recipe - I used Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal and I flattened the cookies with a glass before baking. They turned out awesome, and Carson liked them. However, I am beginning to think that he doesn't have much of a sweet tooth because he goes more crazy over salty snacks. I would still consider this a success! I can't wait to try more of their recipes. Oh, and "dada" liked these cookies too.

Little Mr. Know-It-All

I love this picture. It shows his stubborn side!

It's amazing what a little baby knows and can learn. We think our son is the smartest baby ever, but we may be a little biased. One thing I do know that he knows is how to confound me. Someone once said to me, "Little babies are like parrots. They will repeat what you say."

My response to that is, "WRONG!" My little Mr. Know-It-All says what he wants to say. For example, for the longest time I have been trying to get him to say "nose", so what does he do? Last week he pointed to his eye and said "eye."

I try to get him to say "mama" so he says "dada" twenty times a day at varying levels of excitement. "Mama" only comes out every once in a while when he's trying to ask for "more" food or when he's making a kissing sound "mmmm-ma." I use this to my advantage sometimes. If I ask Carson who he wants to change his diaper, he almost always asks for, "Dada!" Which is also funny because Dada wanted to be called "PaPa," but Carson decided on his own that Dada was what he would call him.

Our latest adventure is that he likes to say "bus" however, his "s" is a "t", so he is calling that big yellow thing a "butttt" instead. When I tried to tell him to say it with an "s", it came out "butts". Oh well, at least he tried.

Last night we were singing "Old MacDonald", and when I paused, he filled in the "E-i-e-i-o". It was cute because it sounded more like "yi-yi-yoo". The adventures never end, and while he is learning all he is learning, he's teaching me a thing or two - such as not to be upset by the lack of "mama" in his regular vocabulary. It just means he knows who I am and doesn't feel the need to say my name when I'm right there. On top of that, there is a reason why he kisses and says "mmmmm-ma" while he is doing it. It's because most of his kisses are for me!

Words Carson can say...

• hi and bye bye
• mama and dada
• ball
• car
• bus (butt)
• walk and go walk
• bike
• hot (he uses for hot/cold and when things hurt)
• hat (this morning he put a diaper on his head and said "hat")
• Bob or Bop (this is what he calls Elmo and our cat, RickyBobby)
• kitty
• bird
• dog
• more
• water
• bottle
• banana
• book

What a Funny Little Person!

For the last 8 months of Carson's life, as soon as he grew out of that cute like a baby chicken stage, my husband has been known occasionally to exclaim when looking at Carson, "He's just like a little person!" And every day this little person reveals something new and wonderful about himself. It is so much fun, getting to know him. Here are the latest developments:

• He can't say Elmo, so he just calls him "Bob."
• He took two steps without help.
• He said his first swear word, we think (I blame his dad.)
• He stands up on his own unassisted by anything and tries to dance.
• He knows the mechanics of using his spoon, although, it's more of a dip it and lick it off activity.
• He calls his bottle a "ba-coe" or he pronounces it correctly sometimes.
• He gives open-mouthed sloppy kisses on request - sometimes.
• He laughs when he hears others laugh.
• He knows he is not supposed to eat cat food but tries to anyway.
• He likes curry flavor.
• He has learned two signs for sure - hat and dog, and both are words he can also say.
• He loves animals and is not afraid of big dogs even if they are growling.
• He loves the American flag.

Also, we are still finding more great resources for eating dairy free. The latest is this website:

http://www.godairyfree.org/

Eating Adventures

The good news is that he can stay on his formula until he is 2, so I don't have to worry about him not getting the nutrition he needs. The bad news is that the dietician had no advice for if I should try to transition Carson to the sippy cup or a cup instead of bottle before then. Oh well, more research.

I am still feeding him solid foods as much as possible. He really likes beans of all kinds, and they are "magic" for curing his constipation problems. He likes fruit, and now he has actually started eating it rather than chewing it up and spitting it out. Today he ate half of a big strawberry. Yesterday he ate most of a chunk of pineapple. He still likes crackers, but I have now switched to the Ritz multigrain. I would like to find one with more fiber that he likes, but until then, they seem to satisfy him.

I am certainly getting an "ed-u-ma-cation" (as my silly dad would say) with raising this boy. He is such a mess when he feeds himself that I wonder why no one has invented the "full-body" bib yet (see photo above). Eating can be adventurous!

Picture of the month - Carson's Car

I'm so glad we got this little car for him, and I'm glad he's not allergic to "driving" it.

More About Milk Allergies

I have started my research, and I am completely flabbergasted - how do you feed a child who should no longer be relying on formula if you cannot give him milk???? In my research, I have learned that even soy milk can contain milk proteins, and that milk proteins can hide in the ingredient lists of many processed foods (like in his favorite Gerber graduates veggie crackers, or gok-goks as he calls them).

I have learned a few things so far...

• Milk allergies are not a reaction to lactose, which is the sugar in milk. They are a reaction to the proteins (one or more) in milk (thanks, Joel). So butter is not OK!
• Someone can react to one or more of the proteins in milk, and if whey is the only problem, then foods made with pasteurization and some of the harder cheeses may be OK.
• A milk allergy can lead to anaphylactic shock (but it's rare).
• A dietitian's help is recommended.

Does anyone know of some good resources - books, websites, magazines, etc. for helping parents deal with milk allergies? Most of the information I am finding is about diagnosis and symptoms.

I guess I have to throw away his favorite crackers)-:

The No No's and Milk Allergies

If you read all the latest parent advice, you find out, like I did, that "experts" encourage parents to refrain from using the word "NO" with their very young children. They say, it stifles their urge to explore and learn from experience. Hmmm... I told my husband this one day when I heard him saying "no" to Carson, and his response was, "Well, then what am I supposed to say?" I told him what I have tried which is distracting Carson or simply saying, "That's dangerous."

The next time it came up, Carson was trying to climb up my pant leg as I sat eating my supper. It was my turn to eat (some nights are just like that), and my husband said, "No, no, Carson...uh...I mean, that's dangerous. Your mama is very protective of her food." My husband is quite the comedian, but this example showed me just how crazy this idea of not saying "no" is.

I think "no" is necessary sometimes. I don't want my child learning from experience that the road is a dangerous place to play or that the stove is hot or that if he pulls on Daddy's bike, it will fall on top of him. I do agree that "no" should be reserved for these types of dangerous situations and not be overused, but to never say "no" is just not right. If I start using it now for the most severe of cases, Carson will know that I have a good reason for saying it when he's older.

Now it's more important than ever because yesterday we found out for sure that he has a milk allergy, and he is at an age where he wants to try everything he sees us eating or drinking. The other day, I had to hide as I drank my coffee with cream because he was convinced it would be something he would like - "mmmmm! mmmmmm!" is what he says when he wants a taste. I will try distraction, but when it doesn't work, I will have to say, "No, you can't have this."

Hopefully, he will grow out of this allergy like they say most children do by the age of 3, and hopefully he has no other food allergies, so I won't have to say "no" for the rest of his life. Who wants to deny their child a bowl of ice cream! That's no fun. Until then, I will have to find out more about this food allergy condition. One advantage I have is that I have done a lactose free diet before, so I know some things already, like that butter is all fat and has no lactose. MMMMMMMM! I love butter! Also, lactose-free Breyers ice cream has 1% lactose which was enough to cause a red, angry rash around Carson's mouth when we fed it to him - this was the event that prompted us to see an allergist.

One interesting side note that the allergist told me yesterday was that in his experience children who are adopted are more likely to have allergies. He also said that children with allergies usually are the smarter ones in their class. I wasn't sure what he was saying, but then he went on to say that children of adoption must come from parents who are smart enough to know that they are not able to care for their child and make the wise choice of adoption. I wish I had had more time to ask this doctor questions about these observations, but the visit was soon over. He had some interesting opinions too about why food allergies are on the rise, and they were contrary to the idea about children being exposed to foods too soon. It sounds like I need to do some more research on a good diet for children with milk allergies and on food allergies in general.

One last thing, some advice I would give to parents taking their child to see an allergist is this. The scratch test doesn't hurt, but they do make you wait for 20 minutes for the results, so bring some good distractors (books, toys, etc.), so you don't have to say, "No". Also, I was happy that I had dressed Carson in a button-down onsie, so it was easier to undress him halfway for the test. They did the test on his back, and I was able to leave his pants on. If he had to be more undressed for the 20 minutes, he may have gotten cold. As it turned out, he jumped up and down as I held him for 20 minutes, so there was no getting cold for either of us. And I only had to say "no" once when he tried to eat the magazines (-:

He Looks Like You - Maybe Not

Since we adopted Carson, I have heard numerous times from family and friends that he looks surprisingly like us. It even got to the point where I jokingly questioned my husband if Carson really was his biological son - a plot worthy of a soap opera, but not true.

Then for the first time today, someone told me that my son didn't look like me which surprised me but didn't offend me at all. In fact, because this person is a stranger to me, it made me question whether all this time, if my family member's and friend's judgement has been biased. Have they been seeing what they thought we wanted them to see?

I will admit, it is nice to hear that Carson looks like us, but at the same time, it always made me feel as if maybe it would be harder to adopt a child who was obviously adopted - a baby of a different race. I wouldn't find it any harder, but it brings up a scenario that anyone adopting I am sure has to think about seriously. Can they accept that some people will have a harder time accepting? It shouldn't matter one bit in a perfect world, but the attitudes toward adoption were once so secretive that I think changing them is not an overnight thing. It's funny how you still hear siblings tell each other when they want to hurt them - "You were adopted!!!" I am guilty of that myself, except I used to think that I was the adopted one because I felt so different from my sister and brother.

One of the best articles I read about adoption, that somewhat follows this same idea, was written by a woman observing her friends who adopted. She optimistically pointed out that her friends had no preconceived notions of who their child should be, so he was free to develop without the pressure parents sometimes put on their children to be as smart as, as athletic as, etc. as they were. That's somewhat true, but adoptive parents may feel this pressure more sometimes. After all, we have to prove that our ability to nurture can help our children grow to be successful and happy.

It made me think of parents, adoptive or not, who think they are raising little Mini-Me's. Are they the same ones who claim every bad habit their children display is the fault of their friends? What does this mean for Carson who already seems to me to be the cutest, smartest, most wonderful child in the universe??? It means that he is already so much like me! (-;

We're Learning

About two days ago, our son learned how to clap. He not only learned how, but he knows what it's called, and he does it when we ask him to. It started out slowly with him simply bringing his chubby little hands together and then staring at them in mystified delight as if to say, "How did those get there?" And then I took a video of it, and suddenly it clicked! After putting his hands together, he pulled them apart and put them together again rapidly. Hooray!!!! He did it more.

Now he claps at almost every occasion, and it seems like he is cheering for all the things that we adults take for granted - another bite of food - clap, clap, clap - another toy found under the couch - clap, clap, clap. He woke up this morning clapping. Everyone should wake up that way!

He thinks it's funny when I clap along. He giggles at me and grabs my hands and tries to bite my fingertips. He laughs even more when I yell "Ouch!" in mock outrage. It's like he knows I'm joking.

After this clapping incident, my husband then decided that we needed to start taking advantage of this fertile learning time and teaching him new things every day. "Yeah," I responded sarcastically, "tomorrow we start calculus." I was sarcastic because I felt guilty as if I wasn't fulfilling my mom-ly duties, but then a reminder came in the form of a letter from our church, like a sign from God, herself.

Our church has a grade school connected to it, and they are always hoping to increase enrollment, so they begin making contact with new parents early. And even though they think his name is David, I still thought the letter was apropos. This is the second letter they have sent us since Carson was baptized. In the letter we were reminded that even though children are learning new things every day, we shouldn't push them too hard. It wasn't stated in those exact words, but that was the gist.

It made me think and question. Isn't that what happens to many children who enter school eager to learn only to have that enthusiasm squelched by the drudgery of the day to day work? I know this sounds weird coming from a teacher, but I have always thought that school should be more fun than it is. I try to live by this in my own classes. We should be lifetime learners. There is no best time to learn according to age. The best time to learn is determined by what we want to know which is based on what we are involved with at the time. And some people never learn that they should never stop learning.

So the moral of this confusion is that Carson has his whole life ahead of him to learn, and we shouldn't take that away from him by forcing learning on him too soon. We should rejoice in every new thing, no matter how big or small, no matter how frequent or rare - clap, clap, clap! Carson and God have just taught me one of the best life lessons of all. Relax and enjoy this and don't stress over what you think you need to be doing, Mom!

Almost One!

Carson's birthday is coming up in less than two weeks, and we still don't have a clue what we are doing. Eeeek! It falls just before Easter weekend so wherever we go for Easter, we will probably celebrate it there. No matter what we do, we're going to have cake and we're going to let him have some too. I am a bit worried about it. Carson has a milk allergy or maybe it's an intolerance. He's been on a non-milk formula since he was born. So I guess the cake will have to have as little dairy as possible. There I go again, being a paranoid, overprotective mom.

Well, despite the cake debate, one thing is easy to figure out and that's what he would like for presents - cars, cars, and more cars, oh, and maybe some books with kitties or puppies and tractors and trucks. He is so expressive, even though he can only say a few words, he really lets us know what he likes. He has this funny little laugh that seems to be a cross between a goat bleat and a machine gun. When he sees something he likes (the other day it was a fork lift), he bleats out his little laugh, points, and then goes "Ohhhhhh!" and laughs again. It's hilarious and hard not to laugh along.

I find it ironic that he loves loud machinery like cars, trucks, and tractors when he is terrified of the vacuum cleaner, the blender, and the hair dryer. My husband thinks his love of cars means he's going to be a race car driver. Well, one thing I know for sure is he's only almost one. He has lots of time to figure this out.

Insecurities of an adoptive parent

Sometimes I wonder, like all parents, if I am doing this right. Carson is our first and only child, so I have no comparison to reassure me, and he didn't come with any instructions. Sometimes I wonder if I am more insecure about my parenting because I am an adoptive parent. I wonder if I am too protective. I see other moms who won't hesitate to take their babies with them anywhere. For us, going to the grocery store is the extent of our adventures.

I also wonder if there are some unwritten rules that I am not following. Does every parent have professional photos done every few months? Does every parent have a big one year birthday bash? I am sure not every parent does, but am I missing out on something by not doing these things? Is he?

I wonder about some day talking to him about how he came to be with us. I do believe that he was meant to be our baby, and there is no way I could love him more. But what will he think of everything once he's old enough to understand? I ache sometimes for the things I haven't been able to do for him like carry him as a part of me for 9 months or breastfeed him to give him a stronger immune system. Will that really matter when all is said and done?

And still, I know, that he is a part of me now no matter how he came to be. It would be easier for me to rip out my own heart than to ever part with him. I guess this is part of being a parent, having these feelings. I still wonder - do adoptive parents feel more or the same amount of insecuries. I'd like to take a poll of parents to find out.

Picture of the week

This is my most favorite current picture. Carson was enjoying the St. Patrick's Day card that Grandma Jane sent. He chewed a hole right through it. When will he stop putting everything in his mouth? At WalMart when they offer us a sticker, I always have to refuse, because I know he would just eat it. Boy did he get mad right after this picture when I took the card away!

Funny Moment

I know I said I was done for today, but I just had to add one thing. I walked into the bathroom and found Carson on the floor laughing at the toilet. I wonder if this is an omen of adventures to come :-D

Oh, and here is a video from yesterday of him dancing and watching his pictures on our digital picture frame.

Milestones

It's been a while, I know, since I have added to this blog. One site I have been adding to for anyone who wants to keep on top of things is youtube. I have found it much easier to put our videos of Carson on there . . . and what entertainment there is!

Every day is a new adventure with this baby, our baby boy. Lately, we have been through the stomach flu, learning to crawl, and most recently - trying to stand. He now tries to pull himself up on anything. He can climb the steps once his daddy helps him up the first one (see video below). He also is playing the "SO BIG" game as you can see from the picture.

His favorite funny words are - ouch and hot. I wasn't so sure this was a great idea until yesterday when he bumped his head and was crying. I looked at him and said, "Ouch?" He sort of giggled and cried at the same time, so I kept saying it until he was completely happy. Sometimes solutions are easy like that.

One solution that hasn't been so easy is how to get him to sleep all night or at least only wake up once. Since he was sick in February, it seems he is trying to make up for lost time. He eats/drinks almost as much in the night as he does in the day. He screams and throws his pacifier if he still wants his bottle. Wow! Can that boy wail!

I have read many posts from other parents who say that you have to deny the bottle and let the baby cry it out (CIO) until he falls asleep again, but I don't know if they have ever heard anything like the noise Carson makes when he is hungry at night. I couldn't ignore it if I wanted to. I will never be able to use the CIO strategy.

Well, that's all for today. I am, from this day on going to keep this site updated if not daily at least weekly.